My 5's (part 1)

Ok, so I've been thinking up this post for weeks, but I always get my best inspiration for it when I'm behind the wheel of the car. Now I'm in class, and my brain is full, so here we go...

My 5 biggest (little) annoyances:

5. Lemmings
Picture this: your lane is ending, and, like everyone else, you're merging in an orderly fashion. But the brunette in the Escalade behind you honks for you to merge faster, so she can knock over the orange cones (whatever the correct term for them is, I can't remember it) 20 feet ahead of you, because she wants to be three cars in front of you as traffic creeps through the bottle neck.

Yeah, that annoys me. Not because I have a problem with needing to get somewhere quickly. That's me on a daily basis. But be smart about it, and don't be a jerk.

4. Entitled Roadblocks
It's always crazy busy on the street outside my daughter's school just before the bell rings. Fair enough. Everyone's gotta get their kids to school. But, inevitably, somebody decides they don't want to make their kid walk a few feet from a regular parking spot to the school door, so they just park in the middle of the street--usually in the middle of the crosswalk--and get out, walk to the passenger side, unbuckle their third grader, ceremoniously adjust his backpack, kiss and hug him, and wave while he walks up the sidewalk. Once he's disappeared inside, and there are at least 15 cars lined up behind her, she strolls around to her door, gets in, buckles up, and drives on.

Hey, now I know that nobody should rush through a school zone, and maybe she didn't have time to find a parking space like the rest of us. But this particular mom wears knock-off lulu's and a hoodie, and her hair is still shaped like her pillow. It's not like she's rushing to get to the office. In the meantime, she just made me late to work--again.

3. Cold Showers

My apartment complex has strange water heaters. Management has been promising for a year to replace them, because they work only "on demand," which means you have to kill the earth by running the shower for 45 minutes before the water gets warm. I think they're just playing with our psyches, though. Because for the last week, we've had warm water for the first 2 minutes (yes, I've timed it), and then it's just interminably cold. And they wonder why I think they should lower my rent.

2. Overbookers

Anyone who flies knows the airlines are notorious for this, but do other businesses have to take a cue from them?

So, I finally carve out time to go to hot yoga. I get all my stuff, drive the 20 minutes to get there, and the drop-in line is longer than the line at Edmonton's hottest club on a Saturday night. I went for coffee instead. Seriously, if business is that good, would it hurt you to move to a bigger studio?

1. Paranoia

Anyone who knows me knows I love natural medicine. And I love nature. But I hate it when people get so hung up on being natural that they go into an allergy attack when they mistake my ylang-ylang essential oil for synthetic perfume. Or when they blame the cancer patient for not eating enough antioxidant-rich foods through life.

Just stop.