Following conviction has never made a claim to being easy. I've never found it easy. I don't find it easy this time, either.
I thought if I set the one I love free, he'd come back to me. I thought if I made it impossible for him not to choose, he'd choose the best thing for both of us. I was wrong.
Not that I'm not proud of him for actually choosing something. It's about time he grew up enough to use the mind and heart God gave him. But I'm devastated.
And I keep wondering if he did actually choose, or if he just took the cowardly way out. He certainly didn't face his demons. He's letting me face them alone.
What is it about me that lets me love to the very depths of my being, but lets me love only those who really don't deserve such lavish love? If my love was a natural resource, I'd be fined for wasting it. Too bad there aren't love police.
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2 comments:
Don't count any love you have given as wasted. Whether one has the ability to see or appreciate it is either a strength or weakness of theirs and does not dictate the value of appropriation. Have you heard of Bryan Duncan? Well there is a CD of his that I think you would be able to appreciate. There is one song on it which I believe is titled "Strolling on the water." In fact, this title might also be shared with that of the album. Speaking of titles, I definitely like the one you've chose here. Brings a lot to mind. Thanks again for sharing.
If you do end up listening to that CD, I would love to discuss what you've gained from the lyrics. I have certainly found them inspiring.
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