Free

Today has been a painful day. True love demands that its object be given true freedom, but I wonder sometimes whether love is worth the torture it inflicts on my own heart. Because I wonder whether we are just playing a role, where freedom is only important so that there is no responsibility for our actions. I wonder whether I deserve better, and whether I should ask for better. I wonder whether I'd get it if I asked. I wonder if I'm being toyed with: a convenient rebound.

The last year has torn my heart out, one bloody piece at a time, but I thought that I'd endured for good cause: that the reward would be worth the wait. But maybe there's been too much water under the bridge. Maybe I'll always be taken for granted.

I was given a beautiful gift last week: a song. Carolyn Arends has long been an inspiration to me, writing songs it feels like I've known all my life. This is one of them.

I count my blessings, I am a daughter
Of the Land of Opportunity I want for nothing, no one can stop me
Or take away my liberties
I've got a flag in my backyard
And a gun in my hand
And every night I thank the Good Lord
For this great land

Chorus: 'Cause we are free
From the cradle to the grave
So free of meaning and we like it that way
Yeah we are free, we played it all so smart
'Cause ain't nobody gonna bother stopping
What we never did start
Yeah we are free

Can't see the forest for the skyscraper
Locked in cold war with the sun
Which one will kill us: hate or indifference?
Or has all the killing been done?
Well I don't know why I'm asking 'Cause I'm well aware
That while we're free to wonder
We're more free not to care

Chorus:

Now we're so full of freedom
That we may just well
Split down the middle like the Liberty Bell There's just too many lies that we're too free to tell
We're all free to die, we're free to go to hell …

Yeah we are free
From the cradle to the grave
So free of meaning and we like it that way Yeah we are free, we played it all so smart
'Cause ain't nobody gonna bother stopping
What we never did start
Yeah we are free
How does it feel to be free?
Ain't nobody gonna bother, 'body gonna bother stopping now …