Love

I have a botany exam tomorrow. I've done all my studying, and know just about everything I need to know...but I don't know if I'll pass.

I've mentioned before that I get pretty anxious over these tests. This term's been better than others. The anxiety doesn't set in until about 12 hours before the test. And I only get a headache during the exam, rather than the usual indigestion and general malaise.

What's made the difference? I'm not sure. But I have a pretty good idea: I know I'm loved, no matter how the test scores turn out. I know I'll be loved, adored, and cared for, even if my career goes down in flames. It's a nice feeling.

And it's a new feeling. Of course, my parents will always love me. They have to. It's in their DNA. But a life partner? Well, I've learned the hard way that love is fickle. I've had to look at my own reflection in the mirror, and realize there are times when it's ok not to love someone anymore.

Now I'm learning that it's ok to love again. It's ok because the person I'm in love with is safe to love. He's kind. He's gentle, understanding, and affectionate. And he's mine!

So, regardless of how much or how little I remember of my beloved botany on tomorrow's exam, I know someone who will let me cry off the anxiety, who will listen as I drone on about monoecious trees, and will still tell me I'm wonderful.

Thank you, Joey.